If anything love, then we shall meet through our prayers. This is the most intimate means of the exchanging of hearts, with hearts both set in the Lord's heart. Where else shall we meet than where Love begins?

We can only learn to know ourselves and do what we can -- namely, surrender our will and fulfill God's will in us. - Saint Teresa of Avila

Oh Lord, you are a jealous lover and I am a stubborn woman.

I love you nonetheless. I love you even more. I thank you for being the Living Water that never runs dry, that never fails to fill my thirsty soul with overflowing love.

How can it be that you, the Lord of heaven and earth desire me for your own? This reality first caused my heart to run in frustrated fear. Now I know that you are more than enough for me Jesus. I apologize now because I know I am going to run forward and back in hesitation from my soul's inability to actualize the love you offer me. Know that in my heart of hearts you are the only One for me though I tremble at times.

I've been so frustrated with your jealous heart Lord. I have looked at other beautiful loves, wondering why these were not meant for me. I have seen the look of a deep love that has only grown with time, heard the prayers of a young man whose desire was only to honor me and guard my heart with the utmost purity and have sat next to a young man who desired to love a woman who learned how to love from the heart of Mary, but I know in the deepest recesses of my soul that their longing for love found in my heart is but a fraction of how Your Most Sacred Heart hungers for my own heart. How can it be? How can it be Lord that you want me? The past weeks I have asked, why me, why me Lord? Why does it have to be me? Why can't I enter the most holy and intimate human love between man and woman? Now and still with a slow clearing in my heart I ask, why me? Why would you desire me for your own? How can He who is Love, Truth, Life, Joy, Everything, desire me? This is a profound mystery that I cannot understand. This is something my theological mind cannot grasp. If there is anything in me Lord that is lovable, that is desirable, then it has only come from You. And I see...we must give to God what is God's.

I resign O, Lord. Not in fear, or frustration but in defeat. Your love is too strong for me to fight anymore. Sometimes we need to fight just to see how much the opposing side wants to win. sometimes we need to fight God's will to see just how madly He wants to win our love.
I put up a good fight. Lord, you win.

My hands raise in prayer, holding up the white flag, along with my heart Lord.

Father, I abandon myself into your hands; do with me what you will.

Whatever you may do, I thank you:

I am ready for all, I accept all.Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures.

I wish no more than this, O Lord.

Into your hands I commend my soul;

I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,

for I love you, Lord,

and so need to give myself,

to surrender myself into your hands,without reserve,

and with boundless confidence,

for you are my Father.

- Charles de Foucald

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

The Lord, so gracious and beautiful, has allowed me to see for myself where I am in my prayer life. What I mean by this is that many times we pray and pray, but never really step back and realize who we are and where we are in our prayer life. Just yesterday night, I had this unusual moment where I became very aware of myself. It's like I was given an awareness of my being outside of myself, like I was outside acknowledging another person's life and person-hood. Anyway, I think this is kind of the same way the Lord brought me to see myself in my prayer life.

This morning after Mass, I was trying to gather my thoughts and desires in my prayer life. Where am I going? Where do I want to be?I just had to ask myself, "Where am I in my prayer life?" The Lord spoke to my heart very clearly after a moment of silence. You see, the themes of my personal prayer these past few weeks have followed certain meditations on being a rose at our Lady's feet and being at the manger, beholding the Holy Family. I've prayed for the courage to be a 'Rose' for this world, if not for the convent. May your work coming from my heart, be an answered prayer, just like a rose from Saint Therese. When I shared this with Fr Dave, he told me that Saint Therese would teach the novices to take roses, pull off their beautiful petals and scatter them all over. Talk about spiritual direction!

Today I realized that everyday the Lord draws me ever deeper into His heart and that through this, my heart enters deeper into His. The only thing I seek is to belong completely to the Him. I have found that there is truly a sweet and holy guard over my heart. What does it mean have a guard over your heart? Well, when there is a source of protection over something, it means that the thing it is protecting is quite valuable. It means it is something to be protected. When I say protected, I mean resting in a place where it is safe. Our hearts are so precious. Why be so quick to give them away at first sign of romantic opportunity? Our hearts were made for Him alone! He is the great keeper of our hearts. I know Jesus Himself, our Lady and Saint Joseph guard my heart. I've entrusted myself to Jesus through their hands. Why not ask for the intercession of the two most pure human beings that have ever lived after Jesus?

I've realized that there is this supernatural freedom that comes with a heart so protected by Christ's love and truth. The result of this is a heart so attached to Christ's and not to human romantic chances. A heart that lives within the heart of God cannot just be wooed by a handsome face. It is a heart that runs freely and loves extravagantly! This morning as I was running, I realized that my heart lies so deep within the heart of God and in the heart of His Church. If a man were to pursue my heart, he'd have to seek me through the heart of God and the heart of the Catholic Church, if not reside there already. No matter what the case, my heart sighs for the Lord. Strong is His love for us. He is faithful forever.

"I can guarantee, things are sweeter in Tennessee."

How I dream of the autumn trees in Nashville!

" If you listen with your heart, you will hear, you will understand... Until you know deep inside that Jesus thirsts for you, you can't begin to know who He wants to be for you, or who He wants you to be for Him."- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta


"Love Him trustfully, without looking back and without fear. Give yourself fully to Jesus. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in His love than in your weakness. Believe in Him, trust in Him with blind and absolute confidence because He is Jesus." -Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

great quotes from my current reading, Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

'The most beautiful altar; said he, 'is the soul of an unhappy man who is comforted and thanks God.'

She had never been pretty; her whole life, which had been a succession of pious works, had produced upon her a kind of transparent whiteness, and in growing old she had acquired what may be called the beauty of goodness. What had been thinness in her youth had become in maturity transparency, and this etherealness permitted gleams of the angel within.

what a song...break away by john mayer

if melody
is my destiny
then what's left of me,
i'll give to you..
and if next to me,
is all that you need to be
would you settle for fantasy,
if it's the best you could do?

can I have my cake?
can i have you too?
would you follow me?
could i ask you to?

would the world between us,
break these ties?
we worked so hard
to realize..
can a postcard say,
what i see in your eyes?

could i ever break away?

would i be satisfied,
and find peace inside
rolling half my life
over broken white lines?

can i have my cake,
can i have you too?
would you follow me,
could i ask you too?

will i wake up one morning,
and see your face
and the streaks on the window,
that the rainstorm makes?
could you bear all the waiting,
and the strength that it takes?

could i ever break away?
could i ever break away?

can i have my cake?
can i have you too?
would you follow me?
could i ask you to?

would the world between us,
break these ties?
we worked so hard to realize..
can a postcard say,
what i see in your eyes?

could i ever break away?

From the moment when You let me fix the eyes of my soul on You, O Jesus, I have been at peace and desired nothing else, I found my destiny at the moment when my soul lost itself in You, the only object of my love. - Divine Mercy in my Soul, Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska